Life and its lessons (30)

Life and its lessons (30) 🤓💚

Victim 🤨:

People live with a victim mentality. Everything that is wrong with their lives is someone else’s fault, they ignore responsibilities, don’t want to be accountable, their actions mostly differ to what they say and always have a scapegoat and reason as to why they do or don’t do something. If people around them change behavior, they blame the people and not their behavior that caused the change🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♂️.

-- My Lesson, it’s hard to please a person who constantly lives with a victim mentality. There is no reasoning, compromise or understanding that will last as the conversation either rotates back to square one or ignored completely. You cannot be accountable for others but yourself. Don’t expect people to be accountable and responsible, you might end up exhausted.

People around you 👩🏾🧑🏾: 

It’s interesting to see how perspectives change with new understanding and choosing to widen lens. I have been stuck with a viewpoint for months trying to convince my friend not knowing through her wisdom she will be showing me the other side. I was stuck on the ABC and she wanted me to move through and reach Z. I reached a point where I could answer my own question, move through where I was stuck and engage.

-- My lesson, have strong role models and people willing to question and challenge you. Without her constant efforts to show me the other side through stories, examples (past and present) and willingness to be open I would still be stuck. I am thankful to have the support and now have activated a wider lens mode.  

Long term approach 😇:

In different stages I have made targets, plans, hopes. I peruse, envision, note and work on the how’s and when’s of everything. At the end of the day or year I see that the change is minimal or not achieved. Even though I didn’t reach my goals, I am good at excusing myself and planning to do it tomorrow or the next year🧐. But when it comes to others around me, I expect something different. I want them to change ABC within a set time and show results of the change. I can give them advice on how to navigate through the challenge and show them the path. With others I end up with a feeling of concern seeing them not changing or struggling to take the steps.

-- My Lesson, take the long-term approach and be concerned with my own lack of change and limitations in moving forward. Breakdown the change and look for the process and not always focus on the bigger results. I should learn to give advice to myself as a third party and follow the advice. Change should not be torture; we will break if this torture continues. Address it with kindness for yourself and others. 

Note to self 📖🖋:

Move with what you want regardless of if you have cheerleaders or not. In 20 years, you will regret why you didn’t move and achieve and less focus will be on why they didn’t help me achieve✊🏾. 

Inspiration❣️:

Ships are not made to be parked on the dock 🚢. Its engines, body and structure⚓ are meant to withstand and sail in oceans 🌊 and seas through dangerous routes facing freezing temperatures 🥶 and storms. Its purpose is to cross continents and deliver. Looking at this example, we are also not meant to be stagnant. We are meant to move and sail through life's storms, challenges and ways. We gain from moving and progressing. This has truly changed my perspective of how I see challenges and hard times. They are not here to break me, but I am meant to move and sail through them to reach my destination and fulfill my goals. Choosing to stay and not move is not an option. 

Until next time Insha’Allah – Cya 👊🏾

#my_one_step_at_a_time 🚶🏾‍♀️

Zuhur Yasin 😄